Asking for Help!

For most people, asking for a favor feels like begging. While others are afraid to look vulnerable or needy. Many just don't want to inconvenience another person with their request. But for most of us, it's the simple fear of rejection—hearing that dreaded no. 

However, if you don't ask.......the answer is always no!!!!. 

Believe it or not, most people are quite generous. We often hesitate to ask because we don't believe we can get what we're asking for. Yet it's surprising how generous most people are.

 There’s no shame in turning to others in true times of need. In fact, 
it’s a sign of strength. The good news is that you can learn to ask for help. In fact, it can be a fairly simple act. But first, you’ve got to debunk some common cultural myths. For example 

Myth: Asking for help makes you look weak or needy. 
Reality: There’s no shame in turning to others in true times of need. In fact, 
it’s a sign of strength. 

Myth: Asking for help can harm relationships. 
Reality: Healthy relationships are about given and take—not just give. 

Myth: Asking for help puts others in an awkward position. 
Reality: It’s human nature to offer help when you see someone in need—and it’s no different when others see you in need. 

Myth: Asking for help might lead to rejection. 
Reality: Even a “no” response offers the opportunity to learn more about yourself—and your relationships. 

Myth: Asking for help means the job might not get done right. 
Reality: Refusing to ask for fear of losing control maintains the status quo. Let go and give your helpmate a chance to shine. 

Myth: Asking for help means you’ll have to return the favor. 
Reality: Help freely given comes with no strings attached—other than a simple and sincere thank-you. 

Myth: Asking for help just isn’t the American way. 
Reality: Independence and self-sufficiency are admirable qualities that lead to success. Still, all great enterprises—including our nation—were built on support, teamwork, and collaboration. 

The Mayday! Process

To make sure your mayday signals are transmitted with both strength and clarity, 
Name the need. 
Slow down and ask yourself some questions so that you can clarify exactly what you need. Don’t become attached to your first guess for resolving the situation.

Give yourself a break. 
You will never be able to freely ask for help unless you truly believe you deserve it.
Take a leap. You must have the self-assurance necessary to take a leap of faith toward the help you seek.

Ask! 
This is the step where you actually make the request. Expand your list of helpmates; generate as many names of potential helpers as you can—even those who may say no.

Be grateful.
Gratitude is an important part of the process. It allows you to remain gracious and open regardless of the answer to your request.

Say thanks.
The final step is to say thank-you—whether your helpmate agrees to help you or not. Use the “three thanks” rule by expressing your gratitude three times: when the agreement is struck; when the need has been met, and when you next see your helper.