Open Letter: I am more than just your plaything

To the guy who pretended to care,

I knew from the beginning that you were a bad idea; not only did I know this when my friends warned me about you, but when I could feel it in my bones. I never wanted to admit that you were the wrong guy. Every excuse I made for you left me even more embarrassed by myself each time. Constantly justifying your treatment of me to the ones who loved me was exhausting. Deep down, I knew they were all right about who you truly were.

I live in regret only for the time I spent bending over backward for you. If only I had realized sooner. It remains clear that I was in it for us, but you were in it for you. Maybe I would not have been so hurt if I would have caught onto the reality of the situation; the reality is that I cared too much, and you cared so little. Too many nights I find myself unable to sleep. Memories of letting my guard down, only for you to take advantage of my weaknesses, torture me.

The truth is, you probably remain unaware that you even hurt me. After all, you never did anything intentionally mean or hurtful towards me. You simply used me, and that hurt me worse than I am sure you ever intended. To you, I was no more than a body for you to use at your disposal. This situation was everything my mother ever warned me about, yet I remained a naïve girl.

In no way do I expect you to feel sorry for me. In fact, I would like to thank you. Thank you for giving me one of my best life lessons. I learned that I have an incredible amount of self-worth. I deserve to be treated respectfully by someone who truly cares for me. The right guy for me will not only recognize my self-worth, but he will also never let me forget that I am worthy of his respect for both my body and my spirit.

Sincerely,

The girl who deserves more.